Oops Week: Nancy

Miserable fail: Flirting

"I knew as soon as you posted the topic exactly which spectacular failure I was willing to share.

You see, once upon a time there was this boy. And he was oh so attractive. And he was an elementary education major, and he could sing and he was sweet and considerate and a little bit silly and he lived conveniently just across the apartment complex courtyard from me.

And I, well, I was the classic BYU co-ed. I baked things and shared them with people (yes, I was a cookie whore) and I said and did sweet things in order to impress the boys in my ward and I even was known to do the not-psycho version of stalking that co-eds are so well versed in. Its an art, really, to figure out his schedule, make your studying and class schedule match up with his in just a few places and at just the right moments. Come on, admit it, we all have done it to at least one boy.

I had managed to create a tiny routine on Tuesday and Thursdays where our classes were in similar enough locations that we were able to walk from one class to the next together. Casual, cool, convenient, just a brief reminder in the middle of his morning of my existence, in case he decided he wanted to, say, ask someone out or something.

So one lovely morning we were walking and I was doing my best at flirting, trying to remember the appropriate sequence of batting my eyes, tossing my hair, giggling at his cleverness, and touching his elbow. We met up just outside the fine arts building... (toss toss, giggle, bat, toss, elbow) We cut through the courtyard... (giggle giggle, bat, toss, elbow, giggle, elbow) We ducked into the bookstore.. (bat bat, toss, elbow, giggle, bat) and just as we were exiting the bookstore, I was mid toss and prepping a bat-giggle combo, hoping to follow with an elbow, I walked straight into one of those posts that divides a set of double doors in half. Mind you, it wasn't a shoulder that hit or asideways sort of bump from which I could have recovered with a well places elbow grab. No, this was full on, in the face, red mark on my forehead and nearly knocking me unconscious, and it all happened mid giggle-toss.

Oy. He asked me if I was ok, very politely, and I reassured him that I was fine, that it happened all the time, and then in an akward sort of silent agreement we went our seperate ways to class. I never stalked him again. But I think in just the right light, you can still see the ridge going down the middle of my face."

Nancy, I bet he was secretly impressed.