Bad Date Hall of Fame: Jordan

So my freshman year at BYU, I was living in the dorms (Heritage) and I had a very sweet visiting teacher who I really liked, even though I barely knew her. One day we were talking about boys and for some reason that I can't remember I mentioned that I liked boys who have pink cheeks. Oh, she has a friend named Arnold* who has pink cheeks and I should totally go on a date with him! So I, in my BYU freshman dating crazed innocence, agreed. (*Name has been changed!) Like pink cheeks should EVER be a deal-breaker, but whatever.

Date night: Arnold comes to pick me up and he is NOTHING like what I expected. A little on the chubby side and very professional, but I was in a bad mood to begin with and thought maybe he could be really cool so I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. (Lesson two: if you are grouchy you should probably re-schedule your date night. Trust me, its for the best. Lesson one was that you should never let anybody who doesn't really know you set you up. Seems obvious, but for some reason I learned that the hard way.) We went back to his apartment where my visiting teacher was with her date. We made homemade pizza and played video games, but I wasn't having fun at all. Even the other couple was boring, and I quickly learned that Arnold's personality did not at all make up for the lack of attraction I had for him. Also I beat him in his own video game AND set a new record and for some reason I think he was mad about it.

We then played a board game, during which he tried to tickle me??? Soooooo not down for being touchy at this point. I quickly shoved his hands off and said that no, I wasn't ticklish. We went to the creamery for ice cream, which was fine and I was getting happier because I thought the date was coming to an end. Until somebody announced it was time to go back for a movie. Really?? Dinner, games, ice cream AND a movie? (Lesson three is for all dates everywhere: if your date is not going well, it is completely acceptable to cut it short.) I was so miserable!!! So miserable in fact that I pretended to fall asleep during the movie (which was Finding Nemo). Then when he took me home I apologized for being so "tired" during our date. I think we hugged awkwardly but it was completely obvious that we were NEVER going out again. I told my roommates all about how horrible and LOOOONG this boring disaster of a date was, and that he wasn't even cute to make up for it.

A few days later I felt kinda guilty that I had been so negative about everything, and I asked my visiting teacher if he had fun on our date. "Yeah!" she said, nodding, but it was the most blatant lie I'd ever seen. I think it was sometime later in the school year I happened to see him while eating with my roommate in the cougareat, and I pointed him out. She literally started laughing and said "HIM??? ohhh, poor Jordan..." and embarrassment ensued.

And you know what, he didn't even have pink cheeks!!