Relationship Week: Jordan

I swear I don't usually write in cause I can never think of a good answer to these questions! But here are a couple of my thoughts.

1. I wouldn't say this is the WORST advice ever, but it's given entirely too often. "Always be willing to compromise." Ok, for me, compromise has never been the problem. There are many, many things in life you just CAN'T compromise on. You either are or you aren't; you do or you don't. You ARE spending money on dinner out, or you AREN'T. You DO go on a road trip, or you DON'T. You ARE buying a house, or you AREN'T. You see what I'm saying? I know there are better examples, but the point is I know I have been in many situations where I either had to 'give in,' or not. And I hated it. It's figuring out those problems that is key! And I think the answer is: pick your battles.

The best advice was already said, but I just wanted to agree, and expand. I read in a marriage/relationship book (I LOVE those, particularly by LDS authors) that "all frustration stems from unmet expectations." Sometimes I am mad or frustrated because I expected that my husband would react differently to something I did or said, or etc. If I hadn't expected that thing I wouldn't have been frustrated with the outcome. See? So a lot of times it does mean adjusting your own expectations. Or... being clear about them, so that they ARE met next time.

2. Colossal mistake made by yours truly: Getting un-engaged to my husband! Yep, we were engaged TWICE. The first time didn't work out because I, though I had good intentions, was unwilling to take any steps forward without KNOWING that it was right. Well, the big lesson I learned was that sometimes you just don't know things for certain, and that's called faith. I totally lacked faith in him, in myself to make the decision, and in the Lord. So we wasted a miserable year being apart when we could have been happily married. Thankfully I was given a second chance and we got married anyway. What a blessing! But I sure did learn everything the hard... EXTRA-hard... way. Hope this helps somebody out there who is scared of marriage and commitment. Faith in every footstep!

3. Beyond that I don't really believe in giving relationship advice. It is so completely different for everybody because every individual and every couple deals with their own issues. I've been told it's like a mission. Every RM has loads of advice to give to prospective missionaries but ultimately the greenie has to learn for themselves. Same with marriage. I could talk until I'm blue in the face about things I've learned, but will that really help someone who's never experienced it? I think that's why so many people warn you that "Marriage is hard," but I don't remember them ever expanding on that! There is no preparation for it. You just don't know until you jump in yourself. What an adventure, right?!