I embody that phrase.
You know the movie "27 Dresses"?
Well maybe I should have saved the dresses then. But I never saw the point, because let's face it, no matter how reasonable a bride tries to be, the dress will never be worn again. Unless, of course, you are the sole bridesmaid and the color of choice happens to be one you have done before. I have a plum colored bridesmaid dress that I have worn at least 4 times. And I have a green one that was popular for an entire spring season, 3 weddings of 3 roommates who kindly coordinated with each other because they all liked the same color and were having basically the same bridesmaids (namely the other 3 of us in the apartment)
And I may cause offense here because every bride thinks that she is the exception, that the dresses she chose were perfect for everyone involved, and that all bridesmaid dresses may be ugly, except of course the dresses at her wedding. Yep, you can go on believing that. But let's face it, there will never be a group of women who all look good in the same color or same cut of a gown. So whomever came up with the idea should probably be shot. And all of this begs the question: "why do we continue to do it?"
Why do we attempt to honor those closest to us by making them wear something that doesn't fit or makes you look like a watermelon or degrades in some other way? Why do we force our best friends, those that stood by us through the bridezilla phases of engagement and still want to be our friends to stand out in a crowd like a giant beacon of pink fluff or yellow puffball? And perhaps an even more accurate question, why do those of us who have done it 42 times continue to agree to it despite our complaints?
I can tell you exactly why. It's because we like playing dress up. Seriously, what's the first question your maid of honor or bridesmaid asks you? It's about colors. And sure, she may continue on with other reasonable questions about themes and party favors, and she may pretend to listen to you ramble on about centerpieces, but her mind is gone to planning a dress as soon as you say "blush and bashful". She is nodding and smiling at you all the while making a mental list of websites to check and fabric swatches to sample. She is imagining if the color will look good close to her face or if she will need something low cut with a string of pearls in between. And she is thrilled to be your bridesmaid, because she knows that while you have your important day, she will be recognized as almost as important, that when you are melting down important decisions will be deferred to her, and that at the reception she will get a bit of recognition as well, all because she agreed to play dress up too.
I'm not kidding. It all boils down to the dress. Which is why we complain about it so much. When else do we complain so much about one item of clothing we will be wearing once? I have heard some bridesmaids complain about the dress to a point of blaming the bride. "She just doesn't want me to be prettier than her, so she made me wear puce, which she knows washes out my eyes" I know we only really hear about bridezillas, but bridesmaid-zilla is never far behind. You give a girl a chance to dress up and be sparkly and pretty and in charge for a day, but then you let someone else pick out the dress? No good! And this is why themed weddings go even more sour as far as apparel is concerned. Then its not just the color and the cut, but the entire concept! Sparkly and pretty is gone as soon as she is shoved into a southern belle gown or a square dance skirt. There will be a photographer there, and maybe even a groomsman to dance with, this night will live in photo albums for years to come!
Of course, that makes the bridesmaid seem like such a selfish individual. And I won't argue too much with that take. After all, it's brides-MAID. You are there to be a help and support, make sure the appetizer trays stay full and keep grandma from fighting with other grandma and don't let the weird side of the family embarass themselves too much.
Which is why I actually really enjoyed 27 dresses. Kathrine Heigl's character summed it up when she pointed out that she did it because she loved her friends and wanted to support them, and someday she hoped they would be there for her too. It wasn't just justice that those brides all had to wear their own dresses in the end, it was a perfect tribut to the real reason we eternal bridesmaids exist. Some of us don't care about the dress, we care about the person that chose it."
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